the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
