You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
