The brown eye won't let me do that either.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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