im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
