It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
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