What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Fuck appropriateness.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Randomize
