I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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