Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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