Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
