Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
