i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
