who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
