i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
