it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
ugly people sure do ruin things
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
