you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
