I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
They are going to name an STD after you.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize