It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
