She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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