Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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