I wanna passion pit in your ass
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We're too hungover to prance.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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