i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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