totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
