But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize