Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
