good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
