you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
