i just sent this text using only my big toe
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
