there's paper in my vomit.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
