I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
