I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
