I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
