I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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