"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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