Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
