The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize