so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
