It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Is it because I queefed?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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