She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize