just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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