Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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