some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
