So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Randomize
