Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
