Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
