quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
