remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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