He had one of those small greek statue penises
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
