Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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