My brain says no but my pants say off.
People in love make me want to vomit
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
