Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
