it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
