I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
