When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize