So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
