we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
