Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Randomize
