I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
