i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
