It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize